• Ellen Haines

9 Steps To Reinvent Yourself and Manifest Your Desires

Updated: Sep 12


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Life moves fast. Sometimes it's easy to get swept away in daily tasks and obligations...or Netflix. If you're feeling like life is kind of "meh" right now or you're looking for some inspiration on your self development journey, this is for you.

"Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself." - George Bernard Shaw

Follow this step by step process to reinvent yourself and upgrade your life in all aspects.


1. Define who you are becoming

First things, first. How can you know what to do, if you don't know where you're headed? This first step is crucial. Here's what to do -- take out a journal, put on some music you vibe with, and start writing. Create a vivid, clear, picture of the person you're becoming with your words and be as detailed as possible. Write about this future version of you in the present tense, so it's as if you're already this person. This is a manifestation trick that attunes your subconscious mind, to who you are becoming.


Here are some prompts for your journaling:

  • Who am I becoming?

  • Who is in your circle? What kind of friends or relationships do you have? Who do you surround yourself with?

  • What is your lifestyle like?

  • What do you look like? Define your characteristics, how you dress, and how you carry yourself.

  • How do you treat others?

  • What are your daily habits and routines?

  • What do you do for your career?

  • How do you feel when you wake up in the morning and as you move through your day?

  • What positive traits and attributes do you want to embody?


While writing sense how this feels in your body and connect with those emotions. This is a powerful motivation technique that aligns your energy with the energy of your new life. Bonus points if you use visuals, by creating a vision board for yourself.

2. Learn to love yourself, unconditionally

You can't reinvent yourself if all you do is focus on the negative. Lasting change doesn't come from a place of criticism and judgment. It comes from a place of loving yourself and knowing you're worthy of this fabulous life you desire.


In this next step, you're going to list out all of the positive aspects about yourself. Close your eyes, put your hands on your heart and connect to the wonderful qualities you possess. Physical traits, personality traits, life experiences, achievements, challenges you've overcome. Nothing is off limits here.


Don't close your notebook and shove this into a drawer. Keep it nearby and reference it daily! Self love doesn't happen overnight. It takes constant praise, reassurance, and validation. Don't wait for other people to validate you or give you praise. Give yourself praise every. single. day.


Your mind doesn't know the difference between external praise and internal praise (or criticism for that matter). So decide you're worthy and become your own cheerleader. Put little post-it notes that say "I am enough" on your bathroom mirror or fridge. Change your password to "Iamamazing". Celebrate yourself for your achievements and learn to view your failures as growth.


3. Become aware of (and accept) your shadows

We all have aspects of ourselves that we're not proud of and a lot of the time we try to repress or ignore these parts. Shame, blame, guilt, anger, jealousy, temper, holding grudges, victimhood, resentment, fear, judgment, and bitterness are heavy emotions that dampen all aspects of life.

The more we hide or repress them, the louder they become.

Shadow work is a powerful practice and a foundational tool for self development. Shadow work isn't about highlighting and rejecting the negative aspects of ourselves. Quite the contrary. It is about accepting and welcoming the parts of ourselves we wish we could change.

Why? Well, those darker aspects of ourselves all have a voice and something to communicate. When we can openly listen to the voice of our shadow and seek to understand the point it is trying to make, it no longer holds power over our lives and our actions.

One of my favorite quotes from psychologist Carl Jung (who came up with the concept of "shadow work") is,

“One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness conscious.”

Here's the thing, shadow work can be realllly uncomfortable. It requires feeling your emotions, observing your triggers, and noticing your unconscious reactions.


If you're not sure where to start here are some questions to consider

  • What patterns and situations in your life continually come up and lead to internal or external conflict?

  • What emotions are most uncomfortable for you?

  • If that emotion had your best interest in mind, what would it try to say to you?

As an RTT hypnotherapist, shadow work is core to what I help guide my clients through. It is one of my favorite aspects of hypnotherapy because it often results in the biggest shifts and "aha" moments. If you're dealing with some difficult emotions, consider working with a trained professional who can help you navigate these dark and stormy waters.


4. Heal

As you may be noticing, reinventing yourself isn't about shaming and wiping away the past. Tossing your skeletons into a closet or sweeping your emotions under a rug, while choosing to focus on only the positive, may feel good in the moment. But trust me, it will only lead to surface level change.


That means:

1. You'll repeat the same cycles and fall back into old patterns.

2. No matter how much you achieve in life, it'll never be enough.


You can't build a new house on a shaky foundation.

By now...

  • You've identified what's important to you in life and are using that to guide your thoughts, words, and actions.

  • You're learning to love yourself fully and unconditionally by praising yourself daily.

  • You've identified some areas for growth and some emotional wounds you're ready to heal.

Now is a fabulous time to take a step back and give yourself a giant hug, round of applause, or pat on the back. By doing these 3 things, you've already come so far on your journey.


Know that healing can't be rushed. It is a lifelong process that will continue to unfold in new ways, as life continues to offer new challenges and opportunities for growth.

The process of healing looks different for everyone. Listen to your heart and your gut. They will guide you on this path. Keep practicing self awareness. Observe your thoughts and emotions in the present. When you feel triggered, pay attention to what you're experiencing. Then ask yourself, how would my highest self respond?


This won't be easy.

It will require you to take action in ways that are uncomfortable.


You may find that you're

  • making difficult and scary decisions

  • developing new habits

  • cutting things out of your life that once felt good but no longer do.

Great, you're on the right track!


5. Remove distractions and cut out negativity

Reinventing yourself means change. And change is uncomfortable.

Prepare yourself because you will have days and moments where you will be tested. Situations will pop up that make you doubt yourself and your choices.


This is the universe's way of helping you grow and heal limiting beliefs. And is a tell tale sign that you are making some serious progress. Go you!

These tests may can show up in many ways

  • financial setbacks

  • family or friends questioning your decisions, judging you, or attacking you

  • feeling a sense of loneliness

  • unexpected obstacles

  • having to let go of a relationship, job, or belief

  • a health issue

The most common experience is a shifting dynamic in your relationships (especially those that are toxic). When you start to prioritize yourself, you will naturally act in ways that threaten the exact people who are holding you back.


Set clear and strong boundaries and know when it's time to move on from something or someone. Guard your energy. Block the haters. Do a social media purge. Donate household items and clothing that you're ready to release.

Above all, stay the path and keep your faith. Look at each obstacle as a chance to strengthen your capacity to transform your fear into trust.


Gabby Bernstein, author of The Universe Has Your Back, writes

"Obstacles are just detours in the right direction".

6. Go back to your vision

It's time to go back to your vision and see just how far you've come. Take note of the ways in which you've grown and demonstrated to yourself that you are the leader of your life. It's likely that you've naturally checked a few boxes off of your list. Celebrate yourself!


Now I want you to focus on one thing from your journaling; one area of your life. It may be your relationships, your career, your finances, your hobbies, etc. As Marie Kondo, author of "Spark Joy" would say, pick something that sparks joy.


Write down 3-5 small action steps you can take in the next month that will enhance this area of your life. Make it a mix of fun, exciting, challenging, and uncomfortable actions.


Example: If you're focusing on your health your action plan might look like this

  • Take a pilates class with a friend

  • Walk for 15 min a day

  • Look for a fun fitness program to start

  • Create a shopping list and meal prep an entire week of lunches

  • Buy a new outfit that motivates you

Make sure the actions you write down feel challenging but aren't so daunting that you lose motivation or never start. Small, repeatable, and approachable action always wins in the long run.

7. Surround yourself with greatness

The moment you're the smartest person in the room, is the moment your growth potential declines.


According to social psychologist Dr. David McClelland of Harvard, "the people you habitually associate with determine as much as 95 percent of your success or failure in life”.
Motivational speaker Jim Rohn, famously said you are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.

Get intentional about what you consume and who you surround yourself with on a daily basis. This applies to your relationships but also to the books you read, the tv you watch, or the podcasts you listen to. Negativity, complacency, judgment, and gossip are red flags!

  • Put yourself in situations that force you to step a little outside your comfort zone

  • Surround yourself with inspiring people you admire

  • Consider hiring a coach or teacher or make an investment in yourself.

All of these things will create new ways of thinking that give rise to opportunities and ideas.


8. Believe in yourself

This (almost) last step could also be the first step... but I wanted you to leave this blog on a positive note. And I want you to feel like all of this is absolutely doable.

Listen, you are the architect of your life and can have or achieve anything you want. Most of the time the thing that holds you back isn't your partner, your job, or your circumstances.

...It's yourself.

Don't allow your fears to run your life and keep you playing small.


Dare to dream big.

My teacher, best selling author, and creator of the Rapid Transformational Therapy method, Marisa Peer, always says

"Your potential expands as you move towards it."

All it takes is an intention, a bit of hope, and one step forward in the direction of who you're becoming. It doesn't have to happen all at once. Follow your heart and take a chance on yourself. You won't regret it.

9. Repeat

Did you think this was over? Allow yourself to reinvent yourself, change your plans, and create new goals anytime you want. In fact, I recommend going through this process annually to supercharge your motivation and to stay inspired!




Fuel Your Future With Rapid Transformation Therapy

Rapid Transformational Therapy is a hybrid therapy that combines the beneficial principles of Hypnotherapy, NLP, Psychotherapy, and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. This powerful form of therapy has earned a reputation for its massive success rate. RTT has been scientifically proven to rapidly increase neural pathways of the brain. If you're interested in learning more, let's chat! Book a free clarity call.

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